Take note of the fact that gender roles may not be all the same.
You need to figure this out ahead of time as a same sex wedding photographer. If you are used to the usual roles of man and wife, what you need to be aware of as a wedding photographer is the fact that this might not exactly be the same case as with same sex couples and that is what you should really go ahead and watch out for when it all comes down to it. Some same sex couples have a feminine and masculine role whereas some same sex couples have all masculine or all feminine roles. Some same sex couples refuse to identify gender roles altogether and they would like go without it as much as possible at the end of the day. To make it easier for you and to make sure that you get to eliminate most of the guess work while you are at it, you might as well just go straight to the source.
Do not feel embarrassed with the aspect of actually asking your clients about it.
As much as possible, you should go ahead and get your clients to open up to you and to really discuss the specifics of their relationship with you so that you do not really have to worry all that much when it comes to how you are supposed to handle things with the couple. At least, you know full and well what their particular boundaries are and how you are going to go through with the coverage of their wedding as their official wedding photographer when it all comes down to it.
Get to know the couple that you are working with.
The more well versed you are with how the mechanics are in the relationship as a same sex wedding photographer, the more efficiently you will be able to provide coverage for them. The more that you get to know the couple, the less awkward things will turn out to be and the more efficiently you will be able to go about with your job as a wedding photographer. The reason why being a same sex wedding photographer can turn out to be far more different than just the regular photographer is the fact that you will need to exert more efforts on really getting your clients to come out of their shells. You have to be considerate about it. Take note of the fact that it took a lot of time and a lot of challenges before these people have finally decided to take their love public to the point wherein they are willing to make their declarations of love known through the wedding. Let them know that you are not there to judge but that you are there to immortalize their wedding through the pictures that you get to take.
Be sensitive when it comes to the issue of family.
Not all same sex couples are widely welcomed and appreciated, even by their own families. Ask them ahead of time if there are any family members or relatives attending so that you can save yourself the embarrassment of asking the parents to come forward even if they are not there.